Thanksgiving is Tiring, You Guys

Oh Holy Baby Jesus, Thanksgiving came and went, and lo, it was awesome. Let me tell you about it.

First, there was the turkey. A massive 22-pound bitch of a turkey, which took over FOUR DAYS to thaw, including an overnight bath in the set tub in the laundry room. That's sanitary, right?

Heather almost dropped me on her foot.

And then there was the stuffing for the mother bitch bird. I had to TRIPLE my mother's recipe, which meant I cubed three whole loaves of bread. It's a good thing that I don't have a life, let me tell you, because my perfectionism sure as hell didn't allow me to fly through this step.

That's a roasting pan. Full of perfectly cubed bread.

Then came time to add the remaining ingredients to the massive amount of bread cubes. Onions, celery, and BUTTER. I am not going to tell you how much butter ended up in that pot, because you will no longer have to wonder about my weight. It's not a thyroid problem, people. It's Thanksgiving stuffing.

It was a butter stew, basically.

This is what a triple recipe of stuffing looks like, with sage, thyme, salt, pepper, and of course, BUTTER.

I am going to be honest and tell you that some of that stuffing never made it into the bird. Or the oven.

It was finally time to stuff the bird and throw her in the oven, and much to my dismay, the inner, um... cavity... was not very large. Plus, whoever packaged this whore bird for sale sloppily removed the neck and whatnot, resulting in a turkey that now had a vag where the neck once was.

It was obscene, is what I'm saying.

The mighty vag-bird!

She went in upside-down, as is my super-secret method for awesomeness.

And then, five and a half hours later, she emerged.

Perfectly cooked vag-bird.

Oh, and even though I made delicious cranberry sauce from scratch, my mother FORCED me to serve... this:

I was so embarrassed, oh my God.
And you should have heard the sound it made when it came out of the can.
Horrifying!

Then it was Friday, and I stayed in bed. ALL DAY. Apparently I can no longer handle hostessing duties with the same enthusiasm as I did when I was twenty-five and still expect to be physically mobile the following day.

I did make stock with the carcass, though. It took hours, but I'm hoping that it was worth it. It's in the freezer right now, waiting for me to regain strength and actually want to cook again.

Onions and carrots and carcass! (Oh my!)

An Ode to Leggings

Oh leggings, you are the bane of my existence
You are unforgiving and cruel, thin and sometimes baggy.
You are plastered to the legs of everyone around
Clingy and annoying and leaving nothing to the imagination.
But.
I have realized.
You are so comfortable.
You are so freeing.
My over-sized sweater hides my crotchly area.
Why have I resisted for so long?
I LOVE YOU.

I Have Strange Memories

Is it weird that when I was getting dressed this morning, I thought to myself, "Hey! I got this pair of panties at Macy's after Northwest lost my bag on Christmas Eve?"

I know where and when I acquired all of my underthings. I love shopping for underthings. UNDERTHINGS! Seriously, it is the most fun. They are pretty and girly and when they're on sale it's like Christmas.

Oh, and I have a pair of panties that I bought in Marks and Spencer in London when Continental sent my bag to Florida instead of Gatwick. So there's that.

Hmmm. It seems that airlines are fully connected to my choice of underthings. But I never would have purchased said underthings (at the airlines' expense!), if not for the incompetence of said airlines, so perhaps I should be thanking them? THANK YOU FOR MY UNDERWEARS, AIRLINES!

Did I just write an entire post about my underwear?

T-giving Countdown

For the first time since 2007, I am cooking Thanksgiving Dinner. And I am SO EXCITED.

When I lived in DC, I hosted many a dinner for my friends, and I loved every minute. Maybe it's because I just love being a hostess, but loving to cook helped, too.

So this year, Mike suggested that we host Thanksgiving. I was expecting a little push-back, but once I heard my mom's reaction you would have thought that I had just told her that she won the lottery or something.

She's been making T-giving dinner since, I don't know... the 90s or something. She teaches ten year-old little fuckers, and then makes food for three days straight. Her Thanksgiving "break?" 100% exhausting and not really much fun for her.

(Oh, and the principal just hired at her school? Younger than ME. Let's just say it's like she has another ten year-old to deal with every day. The woman is STRESSED, is what I'm saying.)

So I offered to make everything - except for the pies and the gravy, that is. She's the pie master, and my last five attempts at gravy resulted in some pretty inedible creations.

So here is where the fun begins:

Shopping cart of AWESOME.

My mom, Kari, and I hit up the grocery store today at 8:00 in the morning. And let me tell you, the grocery store is one of my favorite places on Earth, but at 8:00 a.m. on a Sunday? HEAVEN. Even with four days to go until Thanksgiving, there was NO ONE THERE. It was brilliant. Just brilliant.

Thursday cannot come soon enough. Hee!

I think that I found my Christmas cards:

Thanks, Urban Outfitters!
And Merry Christmas to all!

Soccer Star

Okay, so I might be a little biased, but my nieces are the best nieces in the world. They are the cutest and the sweetest and the BEST.

First, Alexis. She is six years old... going on sixteen. My poor brother wants to lock her in the basement for the entirety of her teens, and he might have to rely on a gun for all the boys that will inevitably come calling. Or nunchucks.

Alexis had a soccer game this weekend, and I figured that there was probably nothing better for me to do than attend that game. I mean, watching a group of 6-8 eight year-olds run around like banshees for an hour wasn't going to be the most entertaining thing in the world (it wasn't), but it's nice to support family, right?

Alexis was pretty much incredible - scoring three goals and successfully defending the goal. Basically, she's awesome.

Savannah. She's almost four years-old. LOVE.

So it was a fun day, you guys. Profile on Savannah is forthcoming.

The Way

I had the opportunity to see an early screening of a movie last night, and the director, writer, and star were in attendance afterward to answer questions and to talk a little bit about the film and the experiences they shared.

The film is The Way, about a grieving father walking el Camino de Santiago de Compostela, also known as The Way of St. James, as a way to honor his deceased son who died on the first day of his journey on el Camino. Pilgrims have been walking the Camino for over one thousand years. It is an intensely spiritual journey for many, and though Tom attempts to keep to himself, he meets wonderful characters along the way and learns to open up and share his once closed-off life with others.

Tom Avery (Martin Sheen), an opthamologist from California, lives a "bubble life." His estranged son, Daniel (Emilio Estevez), has abandoned his doctoral studies and has decided to see the world. Estranged from each other since the death of Tom's wife/Daniel's mother, Tom wonders if he'll ever be able to bridge the gap between them.

"It is the life I chose," Tom tells his son, Daniel, in a flashback. Daniel replies, "You don't choose a life, Dad. You live one."

On el Camino, Tom learns how to live his life once again, outside of his comfortable California bubble.

The Way is an intensely intimate look at a man discovering life for the first time, exploring a part of the world he never planned on seeing, and coming to terms with the relationship he once had with his son. It's beautiful and thought-provoking, the acting is superb, and while the storyline is a little predictable, it takes nothing away from the meaning of the film.

After the film, Martin Sheen, Emilio Estevez, and the Producer, David Alexanian, came on stage to answer questions about the film. People gave nothing but praise, and I was surprised to see over 50 people stand up when asked how many in the audience had walked el Camino.

There was even a group of nuns in the audience, who presented Mr. Sheen with a rosary. It was really something.

What a fun night!

The Eye of the Beholder and Whatnot

I took this picture a few months ago, and I still can't decide if it's cool, or just a blurry rose.

Hmm...

Sunday Lunch

Because apparently I revert to my seven year-old self on the weekends.

Peanut butter and honey sandwich (CUT IN HALF), apple slices, cheddar cheese, and crackers.

Look What My Boyfriend Brought Me!

A kick-ass case of beer.

He really does love me.