Thursday, June 20, 2013

Back to Work. Ugh.

After only a few days back in the working world - albeit part-time - I am starting to consider going off the grid and living under a bridge. I. Am. Exhausted. Of course, that's because my stupid mangled ankle is still healing and also because I haven't taken a single vicodin in over a week. Mainly it's because I was living the life of a lady of leisure, sleeping whenever (and wherever) I wished, eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner, and staying up watching infomercials until four in the morning.

So I've gone through withdrawal before - from Coca Cola. And that was not fun. Withdrawal from serious narcotics?  Well, that's a completely different story. 

Because let's take a look at that suck salad: I was getting restless leg syndrome after two days off of the drugs, except that it was like, over my whole fucking body. That freaks me out a little bit, since I was pretty much down to one, maybe two, pills a day.

So I am completely exhausted, AND I am not getting enough sleep. Awesome.

Plus, you know what else is fun? Not being able to drive. To remedy that, and to make sure that I have a source of income, my dad has been picking me up and driving me to work, logging 80+ miles every day. I seriously don't know how he does it, and I don't know what I would do without him.

That said...

He drives sooooo fucking sloooooooow. Getting passed by semis in the right lane? All in a day's drive! But he's getting such good gas mileage!

(He is driving my car, by the way. I thought that if I was going to ask him to drive me around, he shouldn't have to use his own car. Besides, why let my poor baby Focus rot in the driveway when it can reach speeds of up to 63 on I-94???!?!)

But he has to put up with me, too. And I am obnoxious. Like when I say that I'll be ready at 8:30, but he has to wait for me to dry my hair or pack my lunch.  Or when I make last minute decisions like, "I don't need to stop for anything before wor... THERE'S BIGGBY OMG STOP AT BIGGBY TURN LEFT IMMEDIATELY COFFEE."

My mom has been driving me around a bit, too, but not as much. Something about me talking/swearing at other cars as if they can hear me annoys her for some reason.

And my lovely sister-in-law, Kari, has been coming up to visit and take me to stores and generally deal with my shitty-but-getting-better-attitude. She's basically a rock star. Plus, she brings this preciousness with her -->

Not being able to leave the house on my own is also starting to take its toll. Have a Taco Bell craving? TOO BAD. You have to eat healthy food instead. Booooo healthy stuff! Legitimately need to go to Target (not just "go to Target" to fuck around and buy $75 worth of crap you don't need, but "go to Target" because you're almost out of toilet paper and your boyfriend is in Minnesota for the week)? TOO BAD.

So woe is me and all that crap. 


Mom M said...

Goodness Heather...I am so sorry to hear that you are still not back to your "what-is-normal-for-you" life. And I mean that in a nice way. May I suggest the purchase of a bag of the cheese/caramel corn Replace one addiction with another?

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Heather said...

Mom M - Popcorn is always the answer!