Deodorant Auditions

My deodorant has been discontinued, which I realize is a first-world problem and everything, and I should be bitching about the lack of affordable health care or whatever, but this is what is happening NOW. To ME.

I know that you're like me, because who switches deodorants when theirs hasn't been banished from the earth?  Only weirdos, that's who.  Since I was using Arrid for years, I haven't had to find a new one in... well, years.  So I headed to Target and the travel size section.

Oh, and also? I sweat like a prostitute in church.  So I need some heavy duty stuff.

First up: Degree Expert Protection Motion Sense:

Hello, Degree?  "Fresh Energy" scent?  FUCK OFF.  Your scent gave me such a headache that I don't even fucking remember if you kept me from sweating.  I don't remember!  YOU SUCK YOU GO TO HELL.

Next, Arrid Extra Extra Dry Solid:

This is the same one that I used to use, but in a different scent.  It is difficult to tell if it's for men or women, but since I'm not sweating through my shirts by 9 a.m., I think that it's a keeper for now.  I have a really bad feeling that this is going to be phased out, too, so I might go raid the mom and pop pharmacy where I found it and ask for whatever they have in the storeroom.

FUNNY STORY TIME YOU GUYS.

Randomly (but not so randomly, I guess, since we're related), my cousin Christin and I seem to have the same body chemistry.  We like the same perfumes in such a way that not only do they smell nice on each of us, but they smell exactly the same on each of us.  Which is weird, right?

Anyway, whenever I find a perfume that I like, I go to Sephora and lie about never trying it so that I can get a sample and send it to her. And then she likes it, too and we dance about merrily.  Well, I do.  She lives in Arizona now, so I can't be sure if she also dances.

But I think that she does.

So I called her this weekend to ask her about her deodorant.  As you do.  Her answer, "Well, I used to use Arrid, but I can't find it anymore."

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

How strange is that, seriously?  Family blood and whatnot. Ew.

Right, so...

Those are the only two I've tried so far, which I realize does not translate to a fair and balanced contest, but still.   Christin just texted me that she tried Suave 24 hour protection invisible solid and that is was, "not bad," so that's a possible future contender.


Or I could just go back to nature.